‘Criminal Minds’ struck a chord in me…time and again.

I love watching Criminal Minds. What began as an excuse of a ‘revision’ for my Forensics Science Module (particularly criminal behavioral psychology) has turned into my ‘best friend’ when I’m too bored studying. Ok, actually I think I watch more criminal minds than study…but that’s not what I wanna write about here.

There is this character called Aaron Hotchner. He has a wife and a really adorable son. He’s the typical Type-A guy. Driven, successful and really intelligent. Being in the Behavioural Analysis Unit (BAU) he and his team flies out to different states, at irregular intervals. So, u can imagine that nobody (not even him) will know when he will be home next. Although I do admire his character, I can’t help but feel for his wife – the woman who has to go through lonely nights, caring for their only son when he’s never there for them, not even when their son was hospitalised. You can only imagine how hard she tried…but in the end, they divorced. While it’s obvious they love each other, it is also obvious that Aaron love his job more than he loved her.

She said, “I need you here.” He said,”Yeah, I will be here….when this case is over.”

I admire the courage and strength portrayed by this woman, but Ialso know that deep inside, I am afraid. I am afraid that this would be my life too in the future, because the man I love now is so much like Aaron.

Maybe that is really why I’m trying too hard to be successful…so that I won’t be left out, and so that if the inevitable has to happen, I will have my career to fall back upon, to numb myself, so to speak. But the day when I would actually use career to numb myself would be a very sad day indeed…

Life is a series of dilemma. They say to not give up on love, but they also say that when you find the right man, you will not be afraid to get married. But somehow, the mere thought of marriage scares me…

I wonder…

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